New Years Resolutions

(1) To cut back on my cursing

(2) Get focused on school a little more so I can hurry up and GRADUATE!!!

(3) Get MONEY!!! (lol)

Well I don't really believe in New Years resolutions because I don't need a new year to be what sparks the changes I make to myself and my life. Cause I hate when people make this big HOORAH about "Its the New Year, a new me, Im doing things differently in '08," All the while Im thinking...the difference of a day won't change you. The difference in the year won't change you. Like we all magically become different people (like Cinderella) when the clock strikes midnight. I know a certain somebody who is always talking about HOW MUCH SHES CHANGED, HOW MUCH SHES GROWN, HOW MUCH THIS AND HOW MUCH THAT??? But its like you are the EXACT same person. No difference at all. Why make this grand announcement ALL THE TIME about how much you've changed. Save yourself the embarrassment because we all know who you REALLY are. The Person you PRETEND to be is fake as hell and everybody can see through it. Just be you. Stop trying SO HARD...DAMN...(sigh)

Ok I just needed to breathe in and breathe out. Cause one thing that I HATE is for somebody to just not BE THEMSELVES. And I know that I can't change anybody but Im like "Do you know that nobody really cares about what you do" Like at the end of the day, nobody cares. So WHY NOT DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANNA DO? I hate people, well not hate, but despise people who let other people dictate their lives in any aspect. I try not to judge people for the decisions that they make in life. I do have my opinions on what people do, but I never try to push them on anybody. Everybody gets so caught up in their own morals and values that they don't realize that everybody is not the same. What you believe, may not be what I believe. I tell people all the time, What I do, You may not do, that doesn't make either of us right or wrong. It just makes us different. Theres nothing wrong with being different.

I was having a conversation with a friend about the double standards that women are subjected to. And he was all like "It has to be like that. As a man, if I fuck a girl on the first night, I would never wife her. I wouldn't be interested anymore. Not because of the girl, but because of what my friends would say. Like nigga, you wifed a joint you fucked on the first night. How many other niggas you think she fucked on the first night" And Im like see thats why niggas are always complaining that they can never find a girl to just fuck because they have to put in too much work with talking, and getting to know them and blah blah blah. And Im like its guys fault because most of the time, girls know beforehand whether they would have sex with a guy, but they won't do it because they don't want the guy to think they are a hoe. So this whole big run-around circle is created for nothing. If we could just be more open about shit as a people then we could possibly advance beyond these gender roles, and standards. But we never will because that shit is engraved in peoples heads from birth. From the girls wearing pink, girls can't be rough, boys shouldn't play with dolls, men shouldn't cry, girls are emotional, men are dogs and they are expected to cheat, women shouldn't fuck around with alot of guys...and the list goes on and on. We will never ever Get over it...and I think its Sad. I think Im from a different breed. I can't wait to have kids, lol, because they are gonna be those kids that just know a little too much for their age, not in a bad way, but in a way where they will probably "corrupt" other peoples kids because they will be real in touch with the world and what is going on and what it should be as opposed to just how it is.

Ranting and Raving is GREAT!!! lol

My Newest Campaign

Fuck It!! Add More Femmes...

The Beautifully Titled Campaign...(The Cursing Gets the Point Across)

Here is where I stand with the whole thing. I understand that some people may not want anybody who was not there from the beginning to be repping something that they really have not put in any work for. Or they don't want the Femmes to become infiltrated with groupies and crazies. Or they basically don't want someone to be stealing "our" shine. Ok all that is understandable. But heres my thing...

FUCK IT!!! ADD MORE FEMMES

Its Not That Serious Anyway...It is...But Its Not...I don't like to take it too seriously...But People like Brandi, Melissa, Courtney, and whoever else have been showing love for a minute now should be able to be apart of it. Nobody is gonna take our shine. We all know who started the Femmes, who puts in work, and all that. At this point, its bigger than that. Its about much more. We'll never be able to progress and "Do Big Things" if we can't get over this small hump. I mean Lupe knows who we are, maybe not each and every one individually, but collectively, yes. If he already knows you individually adding more Femmes won't affect you because he already knows you, and if he doesn't, it won't affect you either, because he don't know you. Its a win-win situation for everyone.

But its not my decision because I do not handle the Femme Fiasco stuff, I just do the blog. But If there ever is a vote, My Vote goes for Yay...Add More Femmes. Because more people can only help us, even if they are groupies or crazies. Shit...most of the Femmes get called groupies, stans, and whatever anyway...SO WHATS THE DIFFERENCE??? I mean would this even be a big deal if Lupe did not give us the shoutout? I don't think so because now everybody wants to be apart of it, but can you blame the people who genuinely did not know about us pre-shoutout? No. Where is the love???...

BTW, like I said Brandi if you read this, whether you are added to the Femmes or not, I still want you to be apart of everything because you were there just as long as some of the others, and you actually do something, more than some of the others. So like I told you, you're officially the Blog's Design Diva cause you do major work without even being asked.

I Feel The Pressure

Lupe Fiasco is taking over MY LIFE!!!

With that statement said, Don't get me wrong. I am a Fan of Lupe Fiasco. I decided to create a blog showcasing the things I find most interesting concerning all things concerning him. And I am so grateful for the Enormous boost that he has given my site from the shoutout he gave it on his album. I Love It All...But...

I feel the pressure to basically just keep it up. Like its not hard at all. I've developed a system where I know exactly where to go to find what I need. And since the shoutout, alot of people do the work for me by sending me links and things that they have come across. But just the pressure to uphold the greatness of the site. Like I feel Lupe giving the ShoutOut was the ultimate. Like it doesn't get any better. It definitely could get better but in my mind, that was it. The was the grandiose moment, the culmination of what I had started the blog for- to get the attention of Mr. Lupe Fiasco. And now that I have his attention, as well as the attention of about quadruple the blog readers pre-shoutout, I don't know where to go from there. Everyone has big ideas for the blog and all the groups associated with it. But Im still feeling like I don't know whats going on. Like alot (well not really) is going on thats crazy to me.

Like when I said I feel that Lupe Fiasco is taking over my life, I mean that there is not one day that I can go through without him. And its in a difference sense now, like when before I was doing the blog ultimately for me. But now its like Im doing it for everybody else. For Lupe, for the Femmes, for everybody else who reads. And like that reason is why I moreso didn't want anybody to know I do the blog. Well nobody in my personal life, as opposed to my internet life. Thats why I don't have Lupe Fiasco posted all over my myspace or Facebook, why I don't rep Femme Fiascos as hard as the others, why Im not really bragging about the shoutout. I get tired of talking about Lupe Fiasco, day in and day out, blah blah blah. Im a Fan, but Im more of a Jay-ish Fan, laid back and cool, as opposed to a Diddy-ish fan, flashy and in your face.

The blog has almost become my job. Not in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I can't really fuck up anymore. I couldn't not "go to work" for days or just quit altogether now. Like I could but I just couldn't. And I won't. I just have to get back in the mind state of when I first started the blog. That this blog is for me. It is about Lupe Fiasco but its my take on Lupe Fiasco. Its how I feel. Its my blog. I gotta bring the funness (new word) back into it whether my new readers like it or not.

I feel like I lost my swag. But it shall return...'08 WILL be a great year.

Just A Little Something To Say

I hate people who are easily influenced. Like people whose favorite color may be red, but if I say I hate red, then all of a sudden their favorite color is blue. It makes me angry. Like what do you stand for? What do you believe in? If my favorite color is red, and every motherfucker in the world hates the color red, then I will be the only bitch in the world rocking red. (side note: I hate the color red) You should stand up for what you feel, what you believe, what you're passionate about. If you wanna do something, but nobody else whats to do it...FUCK IT...do it anyway. Because more than likely if what you're doing succeeds even a little bit, motherfuckers will be ready to jump on the bandwagon anyway.

And speaking of bandwagon, I WILL NOT DEAL WITH BANDWAGON MOTHERFUCKERS. Its a difference of you knowing something and not knowing. Like for instance, if I have something and Im telling everybody I know that this something is the best thing ever. And they're like awwww, that something aint shit. It aint nothing. But then lets say my something gets a little attention. If you didn't know about my something to begin with and all of sudden you think my something is hot, cool. But lets say you knew about it from the start, AND NEVER fucked with it when you had the chance, and then now that my something is Hot, you wanna fuck with it...NAW. Fuck That. Get your own something. And I don't care how much you have to offer me, I don't need it. I don't want it. I don't give a fuck about it. Keep it. Cause its a respect issue. Don't doubt me, then when I do good, you wanna join in. Naw...I'm cool. My bandwagon is full.

But back to what I was saying. I kinda went off on a tangent there. Be You. Do You. Stick to your opinions and feelings. Its not a good thing that somebody can always change your mind with a few words. You're basically setting yourself up to be taken advantage of and thats not a good thing. Ok Im done. I just had to get that off my chest because I've been seeing alot of that lately.

Have a Great Day!!! LOL...

Life & Creativity

Anybody who really knows me understands that as far as college and higher education go...I really dont give a fuck about it. Like I have no problem with learning new things, being in "the know" and participating in establishments dealing with education. But I don't like that I am forced to memorize specific facts, just for tests (which I end up forgetting once tests are done) and only to receive a piece of paper (a degree) that in the grand scheme of things really means nothing except that I started something and finished it.

The ONLY reason that I remain in college is my mother. Everytime I bring up how much I would rather be doing something else with my life instead of wasting it in college, she gives me the "My only dream is to have one of my children be a college graduate." And since my brother is definitely astray from that path, its all on me. Like I don't feel any pressure because I know I will finish. Like its nothing. And Im on scholarship so I don't pay anything for school. But its just knowing that all this work will ultimately amount to nothing, in the grand scheme of things for me, like as far as my plans go for life. I wish I could just audit my classes so I wouldn't have to actually participate in the grading/test aspect of it, and just learn to learn, and still being able to receive a degree from it. Yes having a degree may allow me to get a better job once I graduate but I plan only to work to make money so that I can do what I really wanna do in life...and thats basically to ENJOY IT...

Im a creative type as I said before, and I vow never to be stuck behind a desk doing paperwork, unless its for something of my own, and then I'll probably hire a lackey to do that type of shit for me. Its so easy to go by the status quo and go to college, and get a job/career, work for years upon years, and then retire. That to me is the easy way out. I respect the people who follow their dreams of doing whatever it is they want to do, alot more. They are my idols. Because its alot harder to be different, to not conform, and just do what you want to do for you. And Im definitely an advocate for DOING YOU. For being the person you want to be in life. For living life to your standards. And thats what I plan to do...After I graduate...My mama better be Glad I love her, and if she says being a college graduate is her only dream for me, then I will make it a reality.

Oooooo...Its the LIGHTS!!!

You know how when you walk past a window and you look in, only to catch a glimpse of whats inside. Thats about as much of the Hollywood scene that I have been introduced to and from that small insignificant encounter I have gathered mountains upon mountains of information.

Here is my take on "Hollywood"

Hollywood consists of basically two types of people. The person in front of the camera and the people behind the camera. I have not had much direct contact with a person in front of the camera. But from the glimpse that I have had of them, they seem to realize that they are ultimately regular people just like everyone else. They are very nonchalant, and unfazed by alot of things, I think only because they have learned that what they're experiencing is their "new" normal. Screaming fans, and people always recognizing them and wanting their attention comes with the fame, and they deal with it accordingly.

Now this second basic group of people, the people behind the camera or entoruage, are who I have had more direct contact with. These group of people can consist of managers, personal assistants (aka RAMs), DJs, other artists, groupies, etc. I will put out the disclaimer that what Im about to say does not apply to everyone that I have met. I have actually met some very cool people who I will never speak a bad word about.

(This is the turning point of my ranting and raving)

HOWEVER, most of the "extra" Motherfuckers that I have encountered were just that "extra." One thing that Ive noticed from the start is that alot of the "extra" motherfuckers believe that because they may be associated with a star, that they are therefore stars as well...HA!!! Not even the case. Because basically Hollywood to me consists of a bunch of motherfuckers PRETENDING to be WAY MORE important than they really are. Because in Hollywood, there are more "extra" motherfuckers than actual stars. Everybody can't be a star. Everybody can't shine. People need to know their role, play their position, and ultimately just appreciate the situation that they are in because anyday they could be replaced. BUT NO...People wanna play the role like they're the star. Like that the shit they do will actually matter to anybody outside of them. Or they start to act Hollywood and begin to believe their own hype that they've hyped up for themselves. So they start giving motherfuckers the Hollywood treatment. That "have my people call your people" bullshit...But in actuality they are their own people.

I guess in order to make it you have believe in yourself. You have to know that you are a star, so that other people will believe you have star quality. I guess its sort of like a marketing tactic. A product wrapped in shiny foil wrapping will attract more eyes than if its wrapped in newspaper. That may go for aspiring artists, and other creative people, But what about motherfuckers who don't really do shit. These are possibly the worst people that I have encountered. The RAMs (Run Around Motherfuckers) who think they are important, who think they are irreplaceable, who think they matter. But Dont. Like nobody REALLY gives a fuck about you. Nobody.

And just to touch on the subject of groupies real quick. You have two different types of groupies. Groupies who just wanna fuck and then groupies who wanna get to know the star personally. But for me, theres no difference between the two because they both want something. They both are only around to get from somebody else SOMETHING that they want. Could be dick, could be money, could be time, could be a relationship, could be free shit, could be whatever but its still something. But guess what, groupies don't matter either. They are the lowest at the totem pole. Kinda like being a RAMs personal assistant....

Ok Im done with that, LOL...I have so much more I could say but then it would go from speaking generally to being specific, and as much as I don't give a fuck about people who don't matter, I won't take it there just yet. But Im pretty sure it will come and I will have to address it. Probably not in this medium but Im sure in some form or fashion...

With that said..."I WON'T EVER GO HOLLYWOOD," and thats a PROMISE!!!