Friday, February 11th to Monday, February 14, 2011
I am still in shock about everything that has happened this weekend. Never in a million years did I imagine him to do anything like this. Okay, maybe in my wildest dreams, but never in my actual reality. I had faith in him, and God, of course, but this was even more than I ever expected from him. Shoutout to God, because I know I really owe it all to him. Miracles do happen. I believe now more than ever.
For a long time, shit just has not been as we would like it to be. If I had my way is an understatement. But after everything, it finally seems as if I will have my way, and Thank you god, I cant say it enough. Last year had to be the worst Valentines day in the history of Valentines day for me. When i finally thought I was gonna have a real valentine, God was like NOPE, not this year. lol. I can laugh now, but in that moment, everybody in that house could have came up missing forever. And I thank God for allowing me to remain as sane as I did, because everything in me wanted to go crazy, but all I could manage to do was cry.
But that is neither here nor there, because this Valentines day made up for every shitty Valentines day that I have ever had thus far. Every single tear, every single 'I hate Valentines day' and all that has been erased from my memory and has been replaced with the events of this past weekend. I will love Valentines day forever now. No longer will it be the day that reminds me of how single and alone I am, but it will remind me of how far we have come, and how much love we have accumulated for each other over these past few years despite everything, and how much love we are both ready and willing to give to each other for the rest of our lives together. I will finally be able to associate Valentines day with Love, as it should be, and not loneliness, as I always have.
Valentines day marks another chapter in my life journey. A chapter that I feel like I have been preparing for my entire life. I'm finally here. FINALLY. You don't know how good it feels to be able to say that. I'm in the right place, at the right time, and it feels soooooo good! In my wildest dreams it was all possible and for a long time, I felt that my dreams were all I would be able to have. I held on to him despite everything, even my own better judgment, because I do believe that love conquers all.
And even though some things happened that I would have never imagined, I can love it all for what it is, because it got us to this point, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It all was worth it for this one moment. The culmination of everything that I have been working hard and patiently towards for the past 3 years. Did I doubt it at times, yes. But deep down I knew he was the one for me, regardless of what people wanted to make me believe because of what happened. And he knows I am the one for him, regardless of what people want him to believe too.
You can't help who you fall in love with. I tried to resist it for so long, but I was in love the moment I laid eyes on that man. Seriously, my first thought when I really noticed him was "He gone be my future boyfriend" Which for me, pretty much says he gone be my future husband. I knew it from day one, but I fought it as long as I could. And now I dont have to fight it anymore. And I dont want to. I want to love him. Forever. And yesterday marks the beginning of forever. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
I LOVE THAT MAN!!!! THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING!!!!
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Side note:
The details of the days aren't really important to me. I won't really care what we do, as long as I get to do it all with him.
*fingers crossed*
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