AND GO...
i dont even know where to begin. this is some bullshit. what this is I really don't know,but I do know it includes alot of bullshit. i hate everybody, i really do. and i dont mean to, i dont want to, but i fucking do. and i can't help it. alot of shit in my life needs to change. people wont respect me on their own so i will make them. i know i can't force anybody to do anything but i will try. at least when it comes to making people respect me. I treat people how i would like to be treated but I always get the short end of the stick because its some very selfish non-giving a fuck motherfuckers out here who only care about themselves and can't even begin to look past them and do something nice for somebody else just because its the right thing to do. well not necessarily right but its the godlike thing to do. its just what the fuck you suppose to do. and what can i do about people who chose not to walk the same path as me. nothing i guess. but i know one thing i wont be doing anymore. and thats loving and caring for people too much. i am soooooo over that shit. way beyond it all because im tired of people caring about me and loving me when its convenient for them. im not like that so the shit is mind boggling to me how it can even be done. If i care about you, i care about you. If I love you, I love you. And regardless of what happens, i always will, if i really truly deep down honestly have a connection with you and love you like i love myself. I love everybody generally but of course there are certain people who mean more to me than others and so therefore I love them more. which is understandable.
but i am just tired of dealing with people who are only capable of thinking about themselves. Im always self-minded thats just how i am. but i can think about others too. and I think right now I am noticing and thinking about others and why they are so fucked up when i should be thinking about me and why im so fucked up. and why im in the situations that i am in. Because this is some bullshit and i am tired of complaining about it. i want to fix it. and i will. i just need time. in due time all is well. I will have peace once again. that is the day that i am waiting for. the day when i can breathe a sigh of relief and say i have everything that i want. im good. that will be the fucking day.
But until then, i might need to start a bail money account cause i be on the fucking edge with everybody. and they all so used to me being nice calm megan, and just letting them fuck me over and take advantage of me that everybody has forgotten that I have feelings that need to be considered to. And i dont necessarily want to go into this protective shell and say fuck everybody. but thats what its coming down to. Cause thats how I feel. Fuck everybody. if you not helping me, you hurting me. and thats that. i'll be back on my shit one day, and im giving everybody that ever doubted me or had some negative shit to say, or who just refused to fucking help me when they know they could, my ass to kiss. But not in a fuck the world type way, but in a way, yeah bitches, you thought i really needed you huh? yeah kiss my ass motherfuckers. lol.
okay im done...LMAO!
1 comment:
Post a Comment