And as I begin to type what that something was, nothing is coming to mind. Normally I have a head full of shit to rant and rave about, but lately I've been so blank minded. This is not like me at all. I don't know whats going on. I haven't been this clear headed in such a long time it feels kind of weird. I must be about to have some moment of clarity situations or something where I need a clear head to get through it all. Its just weird because normally I have a million pressing issues to deal with but lately things have been going pretty smooth. I have a couple of things I need to pay and shit that I said I was gonna do for some people but thats about it. It feels good to finally feel like I only have myself to worry about. I have a tendency to take on other peoples problems without even realizing it a lot of times.
I feel kind of lost now. Like I just don't know where my life is headed. I've been doing things that seem extremely random to me now but i'm waiting for the aha! full circle moment when things start to come together and make sense. Right now, I'm just tryna prepare myself for whatever opportunity may present itself. I really believe God led me to that Network Marketing book for a reason and trust me, Imma read that joint from cover to cover and devise some type of plan soon. I never check the book section, so this was a clear sign from God to me. I'm about to get on it. In fact, imma go get the book and start reading on my lunch break. Surplus money to do all the things my heart desires and early retirement (no later than 31) is in my future. Me and God getting to work on that as I type.
My love life is blah. I don't really have any complaints because I have too much I need to do for myself before I can really worry about a man in my life. So I guess my current situation will work for now. I guess. I've put that on the back burner. I have someone in my heart but he don't act right so its still a matter of time before I really know whats up with me and him. I try to not think about it because that never amounts to anything but me worrying my self to death about some shit that I have no control over. I'm not the forcing type so if I don't appeal to someone enough to make them want to do right on their own, then all I can do is wash my hands and move on. I'm getting to that point but right now everything is fine.
I just...SIGH...I need to know I'm doing the right things in some way form or fashion. I need to know that what I'm doing now is not what I am setting myself up for in the future because this shit is not gonna work for me forever. I need to start developing my ideas more and go from there. I need to start doing things that coincide with what I want to do. I need to get it together on my end. I haven't been as focused as I need to be and this needs to change. I do not want to get stuck here. I want to develop a lifestyle for myself that works with me and fits me and goes with the things I want to do and am interested in. I'm over just working a job. I need to develop a career for myself that produces a plethora of money for me to live off of and to be able to afford the things that i want in life for myself and for other people. I want to travel. I want to explore the world. I want to be able to call my friends and be like pack your bags we're going to such and such place for a couple days. I got your tickets ready. I want to be able to help people monetarily. Thats the kind of life i want to live. I gotta get this money first. Somehow. God please be with me. Guide me. Amen.
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