Friday, May 21, 2010

Told You...

I knew it. I said it plenty of times. This guy was gonna be the one to completely break my heart. To just rip it out my chest, stomp on it, and not even give a fuck. Well at least thats what it seems like.

And honestly, Im not that devastated. Because I knew it was coming, but I tried to ignore it. And thats my fault. I know the exact moment I should have got out, but I didnt, and thats my fault too. I could blame him for everything, but then I'd be walking around here mad at the world, and for what? For events that I cant change. I cant make somebody grow up, because thats the real issue here. He think he taking care of his responsibility but the way he is going about it will bite him in the ass in the long run. He's making decisions based on only himself, and he's not considering anyone else's feelings, but his own. And like I said, its only gonna hurt him in the long run. But whatever, I cant save him. I tried, but he wont listen. So whatever.

But what hurt me the most was the way everything went down. How everything ended, well not really ended, just stopped. Cause there was no ending. I still dont know what to think. Or what I should think. Because i want to believe that he is a dog, and everything was a lie for some ulterior motive or reason. But then again, I want to believe that he did really have feelings for me, but the situation was too much to handle. And I can understand that. But he didnt give me the chance to. And still won't, and thats what hurts the most. He assumed a lot of shit about my character and it was all wrong. I actually thought about him before I thought about myself.

I guess all i really need to know for myself so that I can move on, is what category to put him in. The niggas aint shit category, or the we could have been great category. but either way, i need to put him somewhere so I can stop thinking about him all the time. I wanna move on, but i know I wont be able to until I get the answer to my question.

Seventeen Daily Freebie