Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Have You Ever...

Felt like you were evolving, and changing but EVERYBODY around you was stuck. Kinda how things are right before the MEN IN BLACK would flashy thing you. All the people around you are frozen in time but you're still moving forward...

I literally had to let go of a friend because of this very reason. We not on the same shit. And my friend really wasn't even trying to bring anything to the table, after I basically bought the table and eventually had to supply everything put on it.

And thats not even the real reason why I had to let it go. Because I don't mind doing shit for people. But after doing stuff ALL THE TIME without hardly ever having to be asked, it gets old. And even then thats not the reason I had to let it go. It was only because I took notice of the shit going on around me. I don't particularly pay close attention to others around me, as far as what they do, because I don't really care to. But once I started noticing how shit was happening, it dawned on me that motherfuckers aren't really who they say they are.

For example, people that I only hear from on the weekends because they know that Im probably gonna go out. People that don't even call me for my birthday, texting and facebook are essentially for motherfuckers who don't really know me. But if I go all out to do shit for your birthday and I can't even get a phone call for mine. Letting niggas come before the people who are really there for you. no matter what. I mean I could probably go on forever and ever...

But then thats not even the end of it. Thats not why I let it go. I was actually gonna give it a second chance because I try to be a good person. But then as soon as I decide to give a second chance, the fuck ups immediately resurfaced and basically shut down all hopes for anything. I mean I literally tried, even against everybody telling me to let it go. EVERYBODY. Its funny how NOBODY gave a fuck whether we remained friends or not. (except for me)

Because at the end of the day, I look at it like this. We had our good times. Great times even. But its only so much I can take. If you didn't take the effort to recognize a good friend, then I shouldn't take the effort to remain one. And real talk, all this could be settled if I could just talk to you. But I can't because back to the beginning, We are on some different shit right now. I'm going one way, and you're going another. Not saying that my path is any better , but I seemed to not be losing alot of friends on my path while you are.

Another concept my friend doesn't understand. You can have all the friends in the world but if they're not GOOD friends, then it doesn't mean much. When everybody surrounding is comprised of fake bitches you will see. Because the people that you are calling fake ass bitches, jealous ass hoes, and such on, and so forth, where the same motherfuckers who gave you NUMEROUS chances. I know this because they told me. And at that point I knew it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. You don't understand that these fake ass bitches & jealous ass hoes did you plenty of favors. Favors especially since you hardly ever did anything in return. And even after chances upon chances you let shit escalate over some shit that YOU should have been doing in the first place. Shit ain't free anymore. There are not too many people who are gonna do stuff just because, so when you find those type of people you should appreciate them.

Im saying all this and you will probably never read it. And will probably never understand. I'm just gonna become a jealous ass fake ass bitch like the rest of them. And thats cool, cause back to the beginning, you are on some different shit right now. And these are the life lessons that you and I both will learn from.

I was about to end this but I thought of something else. And you of ALL people should know how easily I can let go off a motherfucker and not think twice. You know that. And as much as I wish things were different, its not. I don't get to chose my family, but I do get to chose my friends.

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