Life & Creativity

Anybody who really knows me understands that as far as college and higher education go...I really dont give a fuck about it. Like I have no problem with learning new things, being in "the know" and participating in establishments dealing with education. But I don't like that I am forced to memorize specific facts, just for tests (which I end up forgetting once tests are done) and only to receive a piece of paper (a degree) that in the grand scheme of things really means nothing except that I started something and finished it.

The ONLY reason that I remain in college is my mother. Everytime I bring up how much I would rather be doing something else with my life instead of wasting it in college, she gives me the "My only dream is to have one of my children be a college graduate." And since my brother is definitely astray from that path, its all on me. Like I don't feel any pressure because I know I will finish. Like its nothing. And Im on scholarship so I don't pay anything for school. But its just knowing that all this work will ultimately amount to nothing, in the grand scheme of things for me, like as far as my plans go for life. I wish I could just audit my classes so I wouldn't have to actually participate in the grading/test aspect of it, and just learn to learn, and still being able to receive a degree from it. Yes having a degree may allow me to get a better job once I graduate but I plan only to work to make money so that I can do what I really wanna do in life...and thats basically to ENJOY IT...

Im a creative type as I said before, and I vow never to be stuck behind a desk doing paperwork, unless its for something of my own, and then I'll probably hire a lackey to do that type of shit for me. Its so easy to go by the status quo and go to college, and get a job/career, work for years upon years, and then retire. That to me is the easy way out. I respect the people who follow their dreams of doing whatever it is they want to do, alot more. They are my idols. Because its alot harder to be different, to not conform, and just do what you want to do for you. And Im definitely an advocate for DOING YOU. For being the person you want to be in life. For living life to your standards. And thats what I plan to do...After I graduate...My mama better be Glad I love her, and if she says being a college graduate is her only dream for me, then I will make it a reality.