Girl Talk

This one is for Jennifer. She always wants to have girl talk and every attempt we made has been a bad one. The first attempt all I said before falling asleep was, "Guys are Stupid." And the second attempt, I gave good advice, but she didn't listen to it. I told her don't get so caught up in what a guy tells her, that she should what watch he does. Because words take no effort, actions do. And if a guy cares even a little bit, his actions will reflect his words. But then you have to worry about guys who will say nice things, and do nice things, but they don't give a fuck about you. And thats when time becomes a factor. Throwing out "I Love You's" early in the game should tell you that they guy doesn't hold the words I love you in high regard. He uses them to his advantage. He knows how much girls want to be loved, and I love you is nothing but 3 words to him. Most guys will have a hard time saying they love you unless they mean it. Or unless you say it to them first and then they don't wanna hurt your feelings so they say it back. And then it can get real confusing.

So my Girl Talk advice for this time is to get to know the guy you are with. And don't ignore signs of a lame just because you want a boyfriend so badly. One of my mantras that I live by, "You're better off in no relationship, than a bad relationship." Your overall happiness should come first. You can find somebody who will treat you right. You may have to wait for him but you can have fun while you wait. Being single has its plus sides. No strings, no committments, no checking in, no restrictions, and lots and lots of doing whatever it is you want without having to explain anything to anybody.

And you can have as many boys as you want. It can get lonely at times, but my advice is to be with guys you actually enjoy being around and who enjoy being around you. Not just booty calls. Its hard to turn a booty call guy into your man. You can tell when a guy likes being around you because...HE WILL WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. He won't mind you coming over and chilling. In fact, he will probably invite you over as much as you invite yourself over. And when you deal with guys like this, instead of guys who only call you over at 3 am, you can build relationships without having to be tied down.

That is, unless you want to deal with 3 am guys as well, which is perfectly fine. In fact, my friends and I talked about this and we have found out that having a mixture of the two is actually better than having one or the other. Because if you spend too much time with "the guy you chill with" you both might catch feelings, or you both might get bored. And if a relationship is not what you want then you need to have some time to yourself. And thats when the "3 am guy", who is just a break from your other guy comes into play. He doesn't really give a fuck, and you shouldn't either. So it should be perfect. But the 3 am guy has to be somebody that you would never make your man. You can be attracted to him, in whatever way, but not in a way where you think he can be your man. This only works if he can't. Because when you catch feelings for the 3 am guy, you're gonna start neglecting what you have with the guy you chill with. And while you know the guy you chill with is the guy you should be with because you actually like him in the way you should like a person, the 3 am guy is always gonna appeal more. Its the theory of "you like what you can't have." Don't do it. Save yourself the heartache.

And my last bit of advice pertains to the picture up top. Regardless of how many upsets, heartaches, and tears you will shed in life, you will get over it. It may hurt for a while but you're gonna wake up one day and be over it. Its not the end of the world, you may think it is, but its not. Just like Chris Rock said, Men are conditioned to believe that there are always more fish in the sea, whereas women are conditioned to believe that there aren't alot of good men out there. So once women think they've found a good man, and he ends up breaking her heart, she believes she messed up her rare chance of having a good man. And therefore believes that she will probably never find a man as good as the one she had. Which is ridiculous, because there are more fish in the sea for everybody, both men and women. You just gotta recognize a good man when you see one. And stop going for the guys who aren't really good for you. And just stop fucking with lames in general. And stop making excuses for lames. No excuses!!!!!

The guys you want to avoid...